Ok! So what happens when you are extremely talent-less,
lousy and lazy person and you work in an extremely intelligent organization
full of intellectuals and think-tanks? Yea! Who else can give you the best
answer but me? I am the former one and “The Hindu” is the later one. I got
through it anyhow when I can’t even write two statements properly. You can
observe that in this blog only. I always knew I will suck as a journalist or
maybe never become one coz I find Grammar utterly stupid and inhumane. I don’t
like it at all. It makes language complex and stupid, I mean seriously why I
should bind my lingo with rules and regulation when I don’t even want it. I
will say whatever I want in whatever manner I want. So, yea I am working in a
newspaper which is known for its language and vocab and what not and here I am
with such an angrezi that even Panjab
Kesari will find me offensive. I make bizarre mistakes which honestly speaking
I don’t find bizarre at all in fact I don’t call them mistakes even. It’s casual.
I am just telling coz people above me think so, actually everybody :P
yea! I "HAS"! Problem?
one day I got a story to write and I used words like “chuck out” and “shit” and “chopped” in it, and the rest is history. I learnt how cool I am that people can’t resist it esp. the editor, she froze. By the way she is a very nice lady and I like and respect her, well well well before you start crying after reading this senti statement I just want to tell you that I like editors, I never mind even if they change the whole article that I have written and then scold my ass off for writing a bizarre piece, coz finally they have to give you the credit- the only thing I want-and readers know that it’s you who have done such a nice job not the editor, so it’s ok for me.
one day I got a story to write and I used words like “chuck out” and “shit” and “chopped” in it, and the rest is history. I learnt how cool I am that people can’t resist it esp. the editor, she froze. By the way she is a very nice lady and I like and respect her, well well well before you start crying after reading this senti statement I just want to tell you that I like editors, I never mind even if they change the whole article that I have written and then scold my ass off for writing a bizarre piece, coz finally they have to give you the credit- the only thing I want-and readers know that it’s you who have done such a nice job not the editor, so it’s ok for me.
Cut it, chop it, remove it, do what you want.
Just give me the credit, that’s all I want.
yea! and that is no principles
Cool! You see, even if my English is so bad, I can still
write rhymes. Well, apart from my English which sucks (people think so, I
don’t, mind you!), as a human being too I suck a big time. For example right
now I am supposed to write an article which my editor has told me to do and am
writing this “BLAAAG” of mine, you see I only believe in the results. Both of
them have to be bizarre, so how does it matter if I write an article or a blog.
Nobody is gonna read it anyway. She doesn’t understand this thing. Well leave
her. That was only an example to show how big pig I am as a person. There are
many more, you see I was doing the internship just for the sake of adding one
more certificate in my half page CV and tag my name with some wonderful
organization, I had no desire to learn or write or have by-lines. But
eventually, I got one by-line (17th sept., check it out. I ain’t
lying) and trust me it was a happy-go-lucky moment, I know, now you too know
how deserving I am. Well, this is not the point that I got my article published,
the main thing is I was celebrating it as I wrote the editorial and the whole
Hindu runs coz of me only; I am the one who found it, fund it and now run it
too. This is what I thought when I was celebrating my short term glory
shamelessly. But later I realized that Rishija Singh there are lot more
talented people than you in the market who are hard-working and deserving than
you, I did not add “more” before the adjectives “hard-working” and “deserving”
coz you know I am not at all hard-working or deserving. I just DO things, no
efforts, nothing. I never mind being late for the office or college, I never
mind writing bullshit in exams and getting equally bullshit results, I never
mind how successful my friend or enemy is. I just don’t mind anything, and I am
never in hurry. Also, nothing moves me coz am a person with no self-esteem, I
just don’t have it. My lack of talent motivates me for not taking any new
project in hand unlike my other classmates. These people are so excited about
everything except assignments of course(but they do it well, unlike me), they
get excited when it comes to make college newsletter or taking part in
competitions such as creative writing or debate or some bullshit of that kind,
and for your surprise there are people who want positions in student union. I
mean seriously? STUDENT UNION? Yes, there are people in that too, and they work
for the college.YEA! THEY DO. I always wonder how good and useful they are. I
can’t even work for myself and they work for the whole fucking college. Damn!
SIR! they don't do it at all
When it comes to socializing, I suck in that front too. See,
I can talk to people of my choice but when it comes to talking or socializing
with morons, well you may ask who decides that the people are morons? So
listen, only I have the right to do it, no matter how ancient or intelligent
your ass is if am not liking you, you are a moron for me and I won’t talk to
you or prefer talking to you anyway. I feel like shit in my pants. I just get
freeze before such people and act like am “Barfi”. so you see, here I tried to
describe my professional side, am a big failure in this front and my future
lies in black hole and that’s why all I do every time is wait for zombie apocalypse
or alien attack coz these people do not discriminate and they will save the
earth from me or maybe vice versa.
P.S.- I love you MS
Word, and your spellings and grammar checking skills!
