** The GARBAGE inside **

CAUTION- before you start reading this blog, which you have already started let me tell you that this one is highly deviated, mind-fucking and little bit offensive post. So, sensitive people who often get offended just don’t read it.

I wrote it by assuming that nobody will read it anyway, so let me just vent out whatever roams in my mind and tell you how actual garbage I am. I know most of the people who are elder than and me, mature and have nice perspective and maybe opinion on everything will clearly bullshit my arguments. But I won’t consider it for sometimes for this is my blog.LOL. No arguments please!

See, like most of the teenagers I am confused as hell, I feel like garbage and my thoughts are flies who sit on me, shit on me, mess with me, jumble up and leave and I remain a garbage forever, only better decomposed.

                                                             yea! a garbage like this only!

 Lot of things cross my mind every nano-second, and am not the only one who is like this. I am good at generalising, so I must say that almost everybody of my age goes through this, elders also face this but they have that clarity in their thoughts which we lack. If one will ask me to define myself, I will be like I am a RADICAL FEMINIST WHO IS LIBERAL MOST OF THE TIMES AND SUPPORTS BLACK, POST—MODERNIST AND OTHER FEMINISM AS WELL, I TALK ABOUT EQUALITY BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN WHEN MOST OF THE TIME I DESPISE MEN AND THINK THE PROUD MANHOOD OF A MAN LIES IN HIS DICK ONLY, ONCE ITS GONE HE LOOSES ALL OF IT BUT A WOMAN IS WOMAN BY HEART AND MIND, CUT EACH PART OF HERS BUT SHE STILL REMAINS A WOMAN, DESPITE OF THE FACT THAT NO MEN HAS EVER DONE ANYTHING ILL TO ME. I AM A SECULAR PERSON WHO SOMETIMES GET COMMUNAL THOUGHTS WHEN SEES SOMETHING WRONG OR COMMUNAL SO BASICALLY I AM JUST A TOLERANT. I AM A PERSON WITH GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE WHO SOMETIMES FEELS LIKE BOMBING MIDDLE-EAST BUT I SUPPORT THE PALESTINIAN CAUSE. I LIKE SOCIALISM BUT I FIND CAPITALISM EQUALLY GOOD AND BAD OR WHATEVER AND SOMETIMES I FEEL COMMUNISM IS SO UTOPIAN AND POWER CORRUPTS PEOPLE SO IT IS BASICALLY NOT PRACTICAL COZ THE RULER CHANGES BUT THE SYSTEM DOESN'T UNLESS IT FACES A REVOLUTION AND ONCE THE RULER BECOMES AN OPPRESSIVE PERSON EVERYTHING GETS DOOMED. AND I AM AN ATHEIST WHO REMEMBERS GOD EVERY TIMES SHE NEEDS  SOMETHING SO BASICALLY AM AN AGNOSTIC WHO JUST DELIVERS HATE SPEECHES FOR GOD ALL THE TIME SO THAT MAKES ME AN ANTI-THEIST TOO AND I LIKE GANDHI AND HIS PHILOSOPHY BUT I FIND VIOLENCE OK WHEN IT IS USED FOR A GREATER CAUSE SO I LIKE BHAGAT SINGH BUT GANDHI DID NOT TALK WITH THE BRITISH FOR REVOKING HIS DEATH SENTENCE SO I DON’T LIKE GANDHI THEN AND I LIKE MACHIAVELLIAN THEORIES BUT WHEN I LEARNT GOOD PEOPLE HATE IT SO I THOUGHT I TOO SHOULD HATE IT BUT I AM STILL NOT ABLE TO HATE IT BUT WHEN I LEARNT HIS VIEWS ON WOMEN I THOUGHT I SHOULD NOT LIKE HIM. I FIND LOVE A STUPID THING AND I HAD 4 CRUSHES IN PAST AND RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE AM IN LOVE. I DON’T LIKE FAKE, BITCHY, HYPOCRITE, RUDE AND PRETENTIOUS PEOPLE WHEN I MYSELF AM ALL THE FIVE AND I SOMETIMES THINK IT’S JUST NATURAL YOU CAN’T STOP BEING THAT. I LIKE NEHRU A LOT WHEN I READ “GLIMPSES OF WORLD HISTORY”, I FEEL LIKE I KNOW HIM HE IS SO GOOD BUT WHEN I READ ABOUT HIS POST-PMship ACTIVITIES I FEEL LIKE SHOULD I LIKE HIM? I LIKE ARVIND KEJRIWAL BUT I THOUGHT HE IS PRACTISING ANARCHISM IN A DEMOCRACY WHICH IS NOT RIGHT BUT THEN I THOUGHT ANARCHISM IS THE 1^ST STEP TOWARD THE ESTABLISHMENT OF ANY GOVERNMENT, MOREOVER OUR POLITICIANS ARE BUNCH OF DICK-HEADS AND THEY ARE LIKE A CORRUPT ANARCHIST INSIDE THE PARLIAMENT HANDLING THE STATE SO HE IS BETTER THAN THESE MORONS, SO FOR A MOMENT I SUPPORT ANARCHY………..well eons will pass and I will remain an undefined asshole, this was just an excerpts of what I think all the time and feel like a direction less dumb personality.

MORAL- half knowledge is dangerous especially when you are already a half breed with both the angel and demon inside you, where you have more inclination toward the demonic part and you have just attained the adulthood!

P.S.- I AM NOT AT ALL SORRY FOR THE FONT-SIZE AND SUCH A BADLY WRITTEN POST FOR I AM A PATHETIC WRITER, MOREOVER THIS IS MY BLOG. SO FUCK OFF!

                                                                                                                                                                                                       

** I am a slut, problem? **

Oh! So the reasons to write on something like this are, first; I want attention, and second; I am just a plain SLUT. Oh yes! Let me add, “slut in today’s discourse”. You see, now you don’t necessarily have to have sex with 2—3 males to achieve this title. You just have to be a free willed woman who chooses to do whatever she wants to, and here you are a SLUT. Personally I don’t find this title offensive at all, I just want it to have a positive connotation, which I know is a utopian dream. With so many stupid people (male as well as female) around you, this dream of course seems utopian. Why? I will tell you. You see, each of us know that men and women are impossible without each other, but still if you are a male then it becomes essential for you to hate females at least once in your life time and vice versa. This is a sheer stupidity, nothing else. I ask, if a woman chooses to have sex with numerous guys what’s so bad in it? And how is it affecting your fucking life? It’s her choice. And the most disturbing thing is, slut word is often used by people who themselves will not leave a single chance to fuck a girl or boy, if given with. The best thing about sluts is they don’t force themselves in you; you can’t clap by using your one hand, a guy is essentially involved in whatever she chooses to do. Now are you going to tell me that, she used you? Or she seduced you? Or she is a slut coz she slept with you? Ask this question with yourselves several times and you will find how fucking moron you are and now you have no right to talk about a woman’s character.  Recent facebook memes having caption like “slut you can’t speak coz you have a dick in your mouth” or “slut pull your clothes up” and all bullshit, now I want to point out, that ass if that girl has DICK in her mouth, from where that dick has come from? Is it yours? No? Well the thing is, there must be a boy behind the scene, coz as far I know dicks don’t fly in the air like love. So now how can you just blame the girl for all that and call her a slut. How about the man-slut doing the same thing at the same time? Now come to the clothes, a girl is wearing random clothes with her every parts coming out and doing whatever she wants, now you have problem with it. Why? You got an erection by seeing her? Or you just came from Iran after having a long class from Ayatollah Khomini? Or you are so tight by character that you are jealous of the tightness of her clothes? You make 10 girlfriends, you leave them and later you say “all were sluts they don’t care if I leave them”. Seriously? You had 10 girlfriends, you left them and they are the only ones who are sluts? The less offensive guy will come up with excuses like I left them coz they were getting too emotional and I of course not had to marry them, now tell me what should I call you? A Man-whore? Now imagine a girl making 10 boyfriends and leaving them, well I should not go that far, even switching on the second or third one will get her the title of a SLUT. A slut doesn’t rape you, she doesn’t care whatever you wear or say or do for that matter. She has got a life and she is enjoying it at the fullest. And if you are a guy who says that there are woman like Saina Nehwal, Kiran Bedi, Sunita Williams and we respect such types of women, be like them. So let me tell you, not everybody is same, and everybody deserves the same respect and love unless they are not harming the humanity or breaking the laws. Plus, not all of the guys are Kalam, bhagat singh, Gandhi or Bill gates, so in that case should we stop respecting you? Or should we call you a male-prostitute if you are having sex with numerous females? A slut is never tainted; she gets tainted with your ideas and words. Recently, I read a new definition of slut on Faceboook (the mother of all chauvinism) and that was; a slut is a woman with morals of men.

seriously? wtf?

 Well, who is more sluttish then? Enough said. Lastly, I would just like to ask the women of our society? Does calling a girl slut make you a strong character woman? And how do you define a strong character? You tell woman about her safety, and decency, all fine, maybe coz you are scared of the intentions of men in the society. But you dictate woman how should she live? Well then I must say your life is worthless and take a time machine and just fuck off to ice age, coz humanity doesn’t need you. No more!

**Just NOT a Journalist**

Ok! So what happens when you are extremely talent-less, lousy and lazy person and you work in an extremely intelligent organization full of intellectuals and think-tanks? Yea! Who else can give you the best answer but me? I am the former one and “The Hindu” is the later one. I got through it anyhow when I can’t even write two statements properly. You can observe that in this blog only. I always knew I will suck as a journalist or maybe never become one coz I find Grammar utterly stupid and inhumane. I don’t like it at all. It makes language complex and stupid, I mean seriously why I should bind my lingo with rules and regulation when I don’t even want it. I will say whatever I want in whatever manner I want. So, yea I am working in a newspaper which is known for its language and vocab and what not and here I am with such an angrezi that even Panjab Kesari will find me offensive. I make bizarre mistakes which honestly speaking I don’t find bizarre at all in fact I don’t call them mistakes even. It’s casual. I am just telling coz people above me think so, actually everybody :P

                                                                   yea! I "HAS"! Problem?
 one day I got a story  to write and I used words like “chuck out” and “shit” and “chopped” in it, and the rest is history. I learnt how cool I am that people can’t resist it esp. the editor, she froze. By the way she is a very nice lady and I like and respect her, well well well before you start crying after reading this senti statement I just want to tell you that I like editors, I never mind even if they change the whole article that I have written and then scold my ass off for writing a bizarre piece, coz finally they have to give you the credit- the only thing I want-and readers know that it’s you who have done such a nice job not the editor, so it’s ok for me.

Cut it, chop it, remove it, do what you want.

Just give me the credit, that’s all I want.

yea! and that is no principles

  

Cool! You see, even if my English is so bad, I can still write rhymes. Well, apart from my English which sucks (people think so, I don’t, mind you!), as a human being too I suck a big time. For example right now I am supposed to write an article which my editor has told me to do and am writing this “BLAAAG” of mine, you see I only believe in the results. Both of them have to be bizarre, so how does it matter if I write an article or a blog. Nobody is gonna read it anyway. She doesn’t understand this thing. Well leave her. That was only an example to show how big pig I am as a person. There are many more, you see I was doing the internship just for the sake of adding one more certificate in my half page CV and tag my name with some wonderful organization, I had no desire to learn or write or have by-lines. But eventually, I got one by-line (17^th sept., check it out. I ain’t lying) and trust me it was a happy-go-lucky moment, I know, now you too know how deserving I am. Well, this is not the point that I got my article published, the main thing is I was celebrating it as I wrote the editorial and the whole Hindu runs coz of me only; I am the one who found it, fund it and now run it too. This is what I thought when I was celebrating my short term glory shamelessly. But later I realized that Rishija Singh there are lot more talented people than you in the market who are hard-working and deserving than you, I did not add “more” before the adjectives “hard-working” and “deserving” coz you know I am not at all hard-working or deserving. I just DO things, no efforts, nothing. I never mind being late for the office or college, I never mind writing bullshit in exams and getting equally bullshit results, I never mind how successful my friend or enemy is. I just don’t mind anything, and I am never in hurry. Also, nothing moves me coz am a person with no self-esteem, I just don’t have it. My lack of talent motivates me for not taking any new project in hand unlike my other classmates. These people are so excited about everything except assignments of course(but they do it well, unlike me), they get excited when it comes to make college newsletter or taking part in competitions such as creative writing or debate or some bullshit of that kind, and for your surprise there are people who want positions in student union. I mean seriously? STUDENT UNION? Yes, there are people in that too, and they work for the college.YEA! THEY DO. I always wonder how good and useful they are. I can’t even work for myself and they work for the whole fucking college. Damn!

SIR! they don't do it at all

When it comes to socializing, I suck in that front too. See, I can talk to people of my choice but when it comes to talking or socializing with morons, well you may ask who decides that the people are morons? So listen, only I have the right to do it, no matter how ancient or intelligent your ass is if am not liking you, you are a moron for me and I won’t talk to you or prefer talking to you anyway. I feel like shit in my pants. I just get freeze before such people and act like am “Barfi”. so you see, here I tried to describe my professional side, am a big failure in this front and my future lies in black hole and that’s why all I do    every time is wait for zombie apocalypse or alien attack coz these people do not discriminate and they will save the earth from me or maybe vice versa.

P.S.- I love you MS Word, and your spellings and grammar checking skills!

**Yes!! i am not an Indian**

Yes am not an Indian!! I certainly am not. It doesn’t feel good to say something like this but every time I read newspaper or switch to news channels or even go through my facebook news feeds, this is the only thing I say. Our India is much more complex and harsh now than it was ever. In the beginnings, when our country was seeing its first civilization, there were nothing more than the managers and the workers. As the time passed, came the Aryans and with them, came the slavery and varna system which is flagrant by the name that it was based on the colour difference. The Dasyus or the original inhabitants became the dasas in their own home. And the society further got divided in four varnas, the Brahmins, the kshatriyas, the vaishyas and the shudra.

                                                

                                       

Then after a yawning gap after 634 AD or so came Islam. We can see how our society was expanding, how we adjusted so many divisions and absorbed all kind of faith forgetting all the looting, plundering or invasion. Earlier we lived peacefully before the Britishers (outsider) came up with the divide and rule policy. After that, we became bloodthirsty of our own people. The progeny of this violence and disharmony was partition which came to India as a gift of independence.

                             

But this was not enough. This was never enough. We as an individual did not learn anything from our ancestors. Or maybe we learnt all these in a wrong way. We remember the blood shed during partition, we remember the royalty our ancestors enjoyed as an upper class, and we remember the agony our ancestors went through as a lower class. But even after remembering what have we learnt? NOTHING. Whatever I wrote in my 1^st para we all have read it in our secondary classes, and maybe most of us have remembered it also. But am asking again, what have we learnt from it?

No, actually most of us have learnt nothing. That is the reason why, even after reading so many books and histories, what people come up with is division, reservation, terrorism etc etc. As an individual we have grown so smaller that the depth of our shallowness has become unfathomable and the narrowness of our thoughts has broadened. We don’t feel proud of our knowledge and intelligence rather we feel proud of our caste, colour, religion or region. The upper class feel proud or dejected for standing less chance against the reserved ones and the lower class feel dejected or proud for being a reserved category. Recently in chattisgarh the Maoist demanded 32% reservation for tribals in government jobs and unemployment allowance, earlier the jats wanted reservations. And for this we do not hesitate in plundering our own resources and killing our own people.

There are people who want a separate Telengana, there are people who want separate Gorkhaland. No doubt, I have come across people who have no problem in becoming a bundelkhandi rather than staying an uttar pradeshi. India is far from the debate. We never understood the misery division brings, we always preferred the short term pleasure. We are so proud with the identity we hired from our ancestors that we have lost the basic tenets of humanity. We can kill our children if they married someone belonging to other caste or religion. We can forget the religion god gave us i.e. HUMANITY for the religion our ancestors gave us.

                                            

I have met with parents who are potential killers and have full plans of murdering their daughter if she dares eloping with guy in other caste or religion and the statement goes like this “ waise to humari beti aisa kuch kar hi nahi sakti par agar usne aisa kuch kia to hum to use kaat k nadi me fenk denge”. Yes!! The same lines, as if they are delivering such a great task by trusting their child and they have full rights on her life. Well, it made me think that we never know our parents until we do something disastrous.

                                        

My second encounter was with a former IAS aspirant who went by saying that “no needs to make your daughter prepare for IAS, if she qualifies, would you be able to fetch an IAS son-in-law worth Rs. 10,00,000 or so”. Well I immediately figured out why he could not become an IAS, he just studied like an IAS but never thought like one.

My third unfortunate meeting was with some of my classmates, when I was in the 1^st year. I was shocked by their statements when they said “ I don’t like Muslims, these people, they are so extremists and everything. Their mentality omg!! Frankly speaking i hate them”. Then another girl came up with the line “being a kashmiri, I know how bad they are, so I hate them.” Well am quite sure, this girl doesn’t even know the capital of Kashmir but yea unfortunately she has opinion and more unfortunately she expressed it in public.

The last encounter which i would like to tell here is the one I come across daily, I guess, and it is one of the most offensive. I am talking about the people who tag me in the posts like “rajputs are great”, “we are the warriors” and “some people try to be cool and some are born rajputs” etc. I start feeling ashamed of the fact that I am a rajput then and there only. What have you done to prove that you are such and so. Nothing. You are just proud of the history your ancestors gave you, and you are ready to exploit that good name.

There is nothing wrong in being proud of one’s own identity, what’s wrong is, looking down upon others. When I was kid, I knew that am an Indian and felt proud of the fact. I ran to watch the parade and flag hosting on Independence Day. But now we are prisoners of the divisions we have created, no more independent. Now am “Rajput” for some, “bihari” for some, “hindu” for some, “dark” for some. Yes!! I am no more an Indian now.