**Yes!! i am not an Indian**

Yes am not an Indian!! I certainly am not. It doesn’t feel good to say something like this but every time I read newspaper or switch to news channels or even go through my facebook news feeds, this is the only thing I say. Our India is much more complex and harsh now than it was ever. In the beginnings, when our country was seeing its first civilization, there were nothing more than the managers and the workers. As the time passed, came the Aryans and with them, came the slavery and varna system which is flagrant by the name that it was based on the colour difference. The Dasyus or the original inhabitants became the dasas in their own home. And the society further got divided in four varnas, the Brahmins, the kshatriyas, the vaishyas and the shudra.

                                                

                                       

Then after a yawning gap after 634 AD or so came Islam. We can see how our society was expanding, how we adjusted so many divisions and absorbed all kind of faith forgetting all the looting, plundering or invasion. Earlier we lived peacefully before the Britishers (outsider) came up with the divide and rule policy. After that, we became bloodthirsty of our own people. The progeny of this violence and disharmony was partition which came to India as a gift of independence.

                             

But this was not enough. This was never enough. We as an individual did not learn anything from our ancestors. Or maybe we learnt all these in a wrong way. We remember the blood shed during partition, we remember the royalty our ancestors enjoyed as an upper class, and we remember the agony our ancestors went through as a lower class. But even after remembering what have we learnt? NOTHING. Whatever I wrote in my 1^st para we all have read it in our secondary classes, and maybe most of us have remembered it also. But am asking again, what have we learnt from it?

No, actually most of us have learnt nothing. That is the reason why, even after reading so many books and histories, what people come up with is division, reservation, terrorism etc etc. As an individual we have grown so smaller that the depth of our shallowness has become unfathomable and the narrowness of our thoughts has broadened. We don’t feel proud of our knowledge and intelligence rather we feel proud of our caste, colour, religion or region. The upper class feel proud or dejected for standing less chance against the reserved ones and the lower class feel dejected or proud for being a reserved category. Recently in chattisgarh the Maoist demanded 32% reservation for tribals in government jobs and unemployment allowance, earlier the jats wanted reservations. And for this we do not hesitate in plundering our own resources and killing our own people.

There are people who want a separate Telengana, there are people who want separate Gorkhaland. No doubt, I have come across people who have no problem in becoming a bundelkhandi rather than staying an uttar pradeshi. India is far from the debate. We never understood the misery division brings, we always preferred the short term pleasure. We are so proud with the identity we hired from our ancestors that we have lost the basic tenets of humanity. We can kill our children if they married someone belonging to other caste or religion. We can forget the religion god gave us i.e. HUMANITY for the religion our ancestors gave us.

                                            

I have met with parents who are potential killers and have full plans of murdering their daughter if she dares eloping with guy in other caste or religion and the statement goes like this “ waise to humari beti aisa kuch kar hi nahi sakti par agar usne aisa kuch kia to hum to use kaat k nadi me fenk denge”. Yes!! The same lines, as if they are delivering such a great task by trusting their child and they have full rights on her life. Well, it made me think that we never know our parents until we do something disastrous.

                                        

My second encounter was with a former IAS aspirant who went by saying that “no needs to make your daughter prepare for IAS, if she qualifies, would you be able to fetch an IAS son-in-law worth Rs. 10,00,000 or so”. Well I immediately figured out why he could not become an IAS, he just studied like an IAS but never thought like one.

My third unfortunate meeting was with some of my classmates, when I was in the 1^st year. I was shocked by their statements when they said “ I don’t like Muslims, these people, they are so extremists and everything. Their mentality omg!! Frankly speaking i hate them”. Then another girl came up with the line “being a kashmiri, I know how bad they are, so I hate them.” Well am quite sure, this girl doesn’t even know the capital of Kashmir but yea unfortunately she has opinion and more unfortunately she expressed it in public.

The last encounter which i would like to tell here is the one I come across daily, I guess, and it is one of the most offensive. I am talking about the people who tag me in the posts like “rajputs are great”, “we are the warriors” and “some people try to be cool and some are born rajputs” etc. I start feeling ashamed of the fact that I am a rajput then and there only. What have you done to prove that you are such and so. Nothing. You are just proud of the history your ancestors gave you, and you are ready to exploit that good name.

There is nothing wrong in being proud of one’s own identity, what’s wrong is, looking down upon others. When I was kid, I knew that am an Indian and felt proud of the fact. I ran to watch the parade and flag hosting on Independence Day. But now we are prisoners of the divisions we have created, no more independent. Now am “Rajput” for some, “bihari” for some, “hindu” for some, “dark” for some. Yes!! I am no more an Indian now.